hi,
as you might realise soon, this post is being made in a rush. that is because i have a lot of anger and frustration that i feel the need to bring out as quickly as possible. let me give you the context for why i'm feeling this way.
so, i have a substack that i've only posted on once. i like to use to read other people's work though, and i mostly use it for that. i got a notification for some post by an author i follow, and out of curiosity and boredom i checked the timeline. across my feed i found a post titled "Why I Stopped Using They/Them Pronouns" or something of the sort. i can't be bothered to look it up again and i refuse to link and give the author any more visibility.
the story went something like this: the author came out as nonbinary since 2011, changed her pronouns, put on a binder and went on testosterone for months and then decided it wasn't for her. at the start of the article, i thought (naively perhaps) that it was going to be about someone exploring their gender identity and being normal about it. but there was something about the way she talked about her queer friends, her "obsession" with appearing androgynous and "going psychotic" when she forgot to take her testosterone that made me realise that this was not a normal essay... this is fucking TERF bullshit.
what irritates me is the fake concern put on by the author. "i was just a confused girl with weird queer friends who thought being trans was cool." she says gender dysphoria is real (obviously) but also constantly downplays different trans experiences as if she should get a say in what other people do with their bodies. the author of this essay seems to believe that being nonbinary is largely a social trend (at one point the text states they/them pronouns are a subcultural thing) while somehow trying to appear trans-friendly enough that it doesn't get called bigoted, and i know for a fact that cis people won't see it that way.
it's insidious. and the cherry on top of the shit pie is the pinned comment, where she links the Cass Review as a response to her thoughts on trans kids. in case you didn't know, this was a heavily biased "research" paper used in the United Kingdom to ban transgender children from accessing puberty blockers. of course, THIS is the real point of the essay. it's not to inform or to offer a different point of view, it's purely to make impressionable cis people doubt the trans community. it is to make them believe that we are just too accepting and that if this innocent lady was convinced she was trans and then detransitioned, then what about the kids who don't know any better?
this is what drives me up the wall. you get a lot of these stories, but never stories about trans people who detransitioned because of social pressure, or cis people who simply were wrong. it's always throwing the ball on our court, using dog-whistles to imply we are somehow responsible for other grown people's medical decisions. trans children go through rounds and rounds of checkups and psychatric consults to ensure they are absolutely 100% transgender. why do i have to hear the same cisgender hysterics over and over again when they don't actually care about children???????? when they allow and CELEBRATE the killing of trans teenagers?????
but i want pieces of shit like this to know something: we are not fucking stupid. i refuse to look at your propaganda and take it at face value. i'm not letting it break my spirit because i know that's why it exists. i know trans people won't dissapear: we've been consistently targeted for centuries and yet people keep being trans. but sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out, because it feels like no one ever listens to what we have to say and still want to have opinions on us. however i cannot imagine living another life that isn't mine just to appease these fucking ghouls. i want to be happy, i am happier than when i was a scared closeted teen and i will continue to be happy. i desire it so bad it killls me. i can't let go of that dream. i refuse.
and to my cisgender friends: you NEED to look out for stuff like this. if you can't recognize it for the bullshit it is, you too can fall for it. even fellow transmascs can fall for it and end up getting brainwashed into becoming terfs. it's getting harder and harder for trans people to simply exist in public spaces without getting harassed or worse. if you want to call yourself an ally you better act like one. call shit out. they're not stopping with us (you know how the poem goes).
keep fighting and have sweet dreams,
Devon.
PS: i wish i could save all the trans people. from transphobes yes, but also from themselves. the loss we witness every day is enough to make even the most optimistic person completely lose their faith in a just world. i wish i could save us all because i know each of us has a light. we are endless potential and hope. even if we can't have the world we should have eachother close.
